Successful Sex -- Use It Well

Sex is for self-expression and for human bonding. You also want to develop your sexual technique. This article is not about that.

In today's world where so many now can express their sexuality without that much inhibition or moral censure by society, we have opened the gates to freedom of sexual expression.

Remember that it was not so long ago that children in families were told not to touch their genitals and were beaten if they were caught masturbating. The young women were also shamed if they got pregnant as teenagers.

This was an attack on living the existence of the body based on religions attacking the body to prove that they offered spiritual salvation and control for making people good to enter the afterlife.

These mentally unbalanced attitudes have been seen for what they are in modern times: anti-body, anti-existence on earth, anti-passion and anti-feeling, and anti-self-decision making.

In today's world young people should be able to make decisions themselves as to how they express themselves in a body.

Sex is self-expression and its is bonding between two human beings. These are its two primary functions. A third would be baby-making, but now only for a few in modern cultures. Sexual expression as a need has gone far beyond baby-making in modern societies.

Why do most of us have such an enormous interest in sex, stated or unstated?

THE PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND SEXUAL INTEREST

• sexual orgasm, especially shared sexual orgasm, often gives one a sense of tremendous vitality and passion and opens the door to shared feelings between two human being.
• sexual intercourse together is often taken as the true marriage contract. It is assumed that once a couple starts mating together they are then to remain a couple together, sharing their lives
• however, in today's modern society, to get to experience someone as a possible intimacy partner it is considered important to go to bed together and do some heavy sexual sporting. Thus many use the sexual compatibility and mutual passion as a measure of their being compatible in other ways of sharing life together
• we feel in love with someone who may feel in love with us. This is usually interpreted as that we are meant for each other. Love, undefined but felt, is taken as some sort of destiny bonding. Thus most of us are waiting and hoping for the big love to come our way so that we can settle down with the right partner for us
• Jungian psychologists have found that falling in love is a big projection of our inner need for unity. We identify usually with the archetype of the genitals we carry and project the opposite archetype onto another person with opposite genitals. Masculine and Feminine. This is all as nature intended. Without sex as the motivator how many would choose to live together in such close proximity as to evoke all the human emotions?

The above points go beyond genital and body fascination. Of course we worship our young years when we had full vitality because we know our vitality is not lasting. We age and we die. Nature wants the next generation produced, and that is done with mutual, sexual orgasm.

STAGES OF SEXUAL RELATING AND EXPRESSION

Since sex is such a powerful force in our lives we would do well to make such a force conscious in our lives.

• starting out we experience auto-eroticism. We feel good in our bodies, especially with human contact, thus explaining why little children often love the hugging contact with the parents and family members.
• we progress from auto-eroticism into co-eroticism. We share sexual intensity and bodily contact with others, whether as football players jumping onto each other in a pile after winning a game or with pairs of humans of either and both sexes mating with each other in genital contact. Co-eroticism gets us relating closely with other human beings.
• we develop in co-eroticism relational skills, how to interest someone in being mutual with us, how to release ourselves more and more freely in the sexual embrace, how to share intimacies and other areas of life-expression together.
• we develop non-eroticism. Half the adults in modern society do not live with anyone. They have either regressed to auto-eroticism, having been possibly traumatized in co-eroticism experiences, or they have become non-erotic.
• non-erotic adults put their creative energies towards achieving goals, projects, achievements. Some also go non-erotic by having dogs as pets, the faithful positive feeling function.

What all this is saying is that sexual expression should be used consciously and well. If you can agree with the above points you can then be more aware in how you make your sexual choices in life.

ONE EXAMPLE OF MISUSE OF SEXUALITY

One young man who worked with me would always ask a new woman he met all about her father. He said from this he could tell whether he could seduce her or not.

This was a man who was auto-erotic in co-erotic situations. He did not give and receive in mutual sharing with another human being. He was strictly a predator. He did not like my challenging him on this.

Yes, misuse of sexuality, his own and the other person's.

It's not, don't do things. In an age of self-responsibility and free expression you and I may have done a lot of exploring to see what the world is all about and also ourselves in a body. Yet at some point we need to move beyond unconscious exploration into realistic awareness and take full responsibility for how our self-expression affects others and ourselves.

SEXUAL RELATING GUIDELINES

• if you are sharing sex with someone be honest about your motives and your experiences, and encourage the other person to be so likewise.
• don't hang onto the sexual experience as the goal of your relating with someone.
• there is only one great goal in intimate relating and that is to share lives together with the right person that this is possible to do so with.
• therefore in your sexual expression you will need to redefine yourself as seeking a full intimacy with someone you respect, admire and dance well together with, metaphorically and actually.
• it is not easy to find a full intimacy person for you, so you need to have a committed focus to do so, even if it takes a few years. If you have sex with a number of people as part of your exploration, be honest about your experience and keep looking for that realistic relationship in which you can both fully share the essentials together.
• sex will not get you there to the full relationship, but it certainly is part of the process because of the emotions and vulnerability evoked.
• thus holding off on sexual intimacy before marriage is not usually an effective method for finding the right person for you, and you for them. You need physical and emotional experience together and not just a talk relationship.

The other clear point that marriage counselors have found is that you two need to be able to communicate in harmony at several levels. They are as follows. You can use this list to evaluate your own mating behavior and what you are going for in life. You can use this list to see if you are using your sexuality well.

-communicate openly and honestly. If you are strangers to each other because one or both of you are hiding your true feelings and instead playing roles, then you should not be together. It's too defensive a situation to allow for fulfillment of expression and to allow love to flourish.

-carry the dance of your interactions into the basic areas of relating. It's the same as sex in bed to also cook meals together in the kitchen.

-have at least five areas of mutual sharing and compatibility. These can include:

BASICS OF SEXUAL AND RELATING COMPATIBILITY

• relatively the same level of intelligence
• the same level of fitness and working at fitness
• the same level and way of communication
• no blaming, manipulating and demanding with the other person
• ability to relax together without being a pressure on the other person
• ability to handle together the relationship as also an economic unit of mutual sharing of income and expenses according to each his and her ability
• the sharing of vulnerability, mistakes, wounds, fears, traumas from the past
• the ability to work through interaction difficulties, including such things as affairs or freedom to be alone, whatever it is that may weaken the relationship you both have chosen
• doing chores and other work together so that both of you carry the load pretty equally of work needed to live life together and progress into the future

In a nutshell! Use your sexual attractiveness and expression to form an ongoing intimate relationship, preferably living together, that has all of the above points working for you both.

We add also that if you are partnered with somebody and you do not have the relating experiences as indicated above, then why are you both still together? Split up and use your attractiveness and relationship commitment to explore and then find someone else to be with that will allow more fully the above values.

source: http://ezinearticles.com/

Penis Size, Sex and women

Virtually every man forgets that it doesn't matter how long or how short your penis is, because the vagina will accommodate itself to any length.

• The vagina of a woman who hasn't had a child is only 7.5cm (3 inches) long when she's not sexually excited. The figures for women who have had babies are only slightly different.
  
  
• Even when aroused, a woman's vagina usually extends only to a length of about 10cm (4 inches).
  
  

This means any man's penis will fill her vagina completely, unless you happen to be one of those rare guys with an erect penile length of less than four inches.

You're probably now wondering how the average man with an erection of six inches manages to insert his penis into the vagina at all.

The vagina has the most remarkable capacity for lengthening if something is introduced into it gradually.

So the exceptional man whose erect penis is eight inches long can still make love to any woman, providing he excites her properly and introduces his organ very slowly. If he does this, her vagina will lengthen by 150 or 200 per cent to accommodate him.

source: http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/

Plan a Sex Date for Holiday Sanity

Holiday planning is usually about everyone but ourselves. We buy presents for everyone else, we plan special meals, we rearrange work and other social events, and we usually cut way back on time for ourselves to make room for the onslaught of others.

This holiday sex tip is part self-loving and part survival tip. One of the reasons many of us lose it over the holidays is a lack of balance. We don’t just cut out some of our “me” time, we take no time for ourselves, or our romantic partners, at all.

This week make plans for at least one illicit rendezvous with your partner (or yourself) during the holidays. If you have a lot of family obligations that’s no excuse. You can always find five minutes to hide in a bathroom, closet, or the car.

Your plan should be very detailed, leave nothing to chance:

• Pick a specific date and a specific time
• Think about how long you’ll have for your date.
  Make it reasonable, keep it short
• Choose a location that you know will be available
• Decide what you want to do
• Consider any props: outfits, safer sex gear, sex toys, and put them away somewhere you can easily get them on the specified day.

If you’re making a plan for you and a partner, you may or may not want to let them in on the plan. If you don’t, you run the risk of them “not being in the mood” and being distracted by holiday stress. If you do let them in you ruin a perfectly good sex surprise.

You might want to plan a phone sex date just before leaving work on the 24th. You might want to plan a late night romp after the presents are wrapped but before the kids wake up on the 25th. It might be a date with yourself sometime in the middle of a long day surrounded by extended family.

Whatever you choose, consider this a complete mental health holiday, and even if it’s only ten minutes, appreciate at least ten minutes of emotional, physical, and spiritual rejuvenation.

Have fun!

source: http://sexuality.about.com/

The Art of Touching Woman

Sex is not only about penetration but it is all about enjoying each others body, the power of touch and the art of satisfying your partner. Before heading for the last action you should know how to touch and feel your woman. If you learn the art of touching your woman in ways no man has ever touched her before, your chances of getting more sex will increase tenfold.

Spine
When it comes to massaging her spine don’t use your hands. Here you have to use your lips and tongue to make the massage fun and exciting. To drive her crazy, let your tongue graze over the little hairs on her back. Or, you can always use your fingers to tickle your way up to her neck.

Behind the neck
Some women simple love their men to kiss them on the back of their neck. It is a favourite arousal soft spot and you should know how to go about it. Gently move her hair away from her neck (if applicable) and breathe on her neck, letting your lips graze against it before you kiss and then lightly bite into it. This will drive your woman crazy and she will beg for more.

Scalp
And while you're kissing your girl, put your hands on the back of her head and massage her scalp for a minute. As well, feel free to give her hair a little tug from the roots; it will heighten her senses.

Shoulders
You must be wondering why the shoulders but believe it or faint, women just love it when you kiss their shoulders. Gently massage her shoulders with your hands while you are kissing her and then slowly kiss, rub and bite her shoulders.

Breasts (not nipples)
Don’t head straight for the nipples coz fun is when you spend some time kissing and caressing the surrounding area -- the breast. Lick and bite near the nipples without actually touching them and see the effect of it on her.

Ankles
You had never thought of this one before but trust me some women love having their feet kissed and touched. But rather than her feet, opt to kiss and caress her ankles instead. Be careful; don't bite the area because it can hurt her.

Wake up Your Lazy Sex Life

If your approach to sex is more Hokey Cokey than Kama Sutra, it could be time for a rumpo rethink. Forget fear or the fumbling of a novice: the worst passion killer in the world is indifference.

GOING SOLO

New research from John Hopkins University, USA, shows if you want better moves and orgasms in bed, the best person to practise on is yourself.

Masturbation and sexual fantasies help sustain your desire to have sex so put aside the blushes and experiment.

Vary the ways you touch yourself and where you do it - don't get stuck in a solo sexual rut where only one specific thing will bring you to orgasm.

Not only will you learn what turns you on most, you'll be able to point your partner in the right direction too.

POSITION PARANOIA

Contrary to some sexperts' advice, you don't have to wrap your legs around your head to have a good time in bed.

Most of us work around five key positions we like because a) they work and b) we can do them.

Fair enough - but you might like to know that you can vary most positions with just a small movement and turn something ordinary into a whole new sexual experience.

For example, if you're a missionary fan, lie on your back as usual but keep your legs closer together and straight as your man penetrates you. This will give you major clitoral stimulation.

If the doggie position is more your style try these simple variations:

• Lower yourself down onto your elbows, this will change the depth of penetration.
• Kneel against the side of the bed, resting your torso on the bed so you don't have to support your weight and can relax more.
• Lean over the bed supporting your weight on folded arms with your head on a pillow. Your fella should then come up to you in a standing position and lift your legs up to his waist and enter you from behind.

THE BIG O

The good news for all lazy girls is that trying harder won't actually help you achieve orgasm.

If you're anxious, tense or pushing too hard, your orgasm will move further out of reach.

There are moves you can work on to give yourself a head start though. Take the CAT or Coital Alignment Technique, for example.

Your man gets on top of you and lines up his pelvis over yours. This means he lies higher up your body than usual, resting on elbows, so that when he enters you he's riding high and will press your pubic bone and clitoris as he thrusts.

You then push up with your pelvis as he pushes down. If you press against each other as you do it and keep your pace steady, an orgasm will be yours for the taking not faking.

MORNING HAS BROKEN

The morning after the night before is a minefield of potential disasters.

Guarantee you'll see each other again by:

• Having a sense of humour about the night before.
• Telling him you had a great time.
• Giving him a time frame for another date.
• Being nice (even if you're Miss Grumpy in the mornings).
• Not freaking out about the fact you had sex.

KINKY ROOTS

While you may not be interested in whipping your bloke into a sexual frenzy or dressing up as a French maid, you're probably more than a little curious about kinky sex and what it can do for your sex life.

While it's definitely not for everyone, adding a kinky twist is the fastest way to add a bit of zing to your sexual encounters.

Try one (or all!) of the following ways to get kinky without trying too hard:

• Access his best fantasy and act it out for him.
• Drop some naked pictures of yourself into his lap.
• Write him a filthy love letter and leave it in his diary or bag.
• Buy some handcuffs and leave them hanging from the bed.
• Go on a sex-starvation diet where all you can do is talk about it all week.

source: Book "Lazy Girl's Guide to Good Sex", Author Anita Naik

Fantasy Time in Your Sexlife

Fantasy is an important part of sexual life. When fantasy is positive and pleasing it can add something to a person's life.

Fantasy can be a substitute for sex which involves physical contact; it can lead to sex; or it can bring extra pleasure to your sex life. Fantasy can be a very private way of enjoying thoughts which we are not able or would not wish to act out in reality.

Most people fantasize when they masturbate, and many do so when they are having sex with a partner. This can create problems for some people because they feel that they are somehow betraying their partner and feel guilty about this. There are also situations when people feel guilty about what their fantasies are. However, the fact that people have fantasies does not mean that they will cat them out. It is important to remember that fantasies are NOT reality -- they are fantasy, and can be a helpful part of your sex life.

You and your partner can play games with your fantasies, if you are not too embarrassed to share them.

• You could each make a list of your fantasies and discover which ones please you both
• You could write a sexy story for yourself and your partner

There are other games you can play to find out new ways of pleasing each other:

• Consider telling each other all the different turn on's or exotic things you can think of
• Thinking of these in terms of safer sex could give you some new and exciting ideas
• You might take turns experimenting with acceptable and safe ideas from each other's lists
• You might think about all the ways you can have an orgasm without coming inside your partner
• If you have telephone extensions, use them to talk to each other about what kind of sex you like, or try writing sexy letters to each other
• Try playing forfeits, strip poker...

Fantasy Role Play

Such personal sharing needs to be done in a caring and sensitive way. Pretending to be a favourite character or role can be fun, liberating and give us erotic fantasies to work with.We can imagine, dress-up, create an atmosphere, role-play, talk dirty and tell our lover what we want.

Fantasy role play is liberating for those who find it difficult to let themselves go, and to express their real needs. Submerged in the identity of a fantasy character, it is easier to voice desires that are difficult to say in day-to-day life. Some role ideas such as:
" American spy and Russian spy
" Call girl and client
" Civilian and cop
" Frenchmaid and millionaire
" Gynaecologist and patient
" Librarian and bookworm
" Photographer and model
" Teacher and student
" Widow and gardener

If you're ready to tell your idea, lure him to the bedroom with the promise of revealing your filthiest fantasy. You'll be surprised how liberating it can be telling him you've imagined having sex doggy fashion with the plumber! Talk about the fantasy in detail, how you've imagined it coming about and all the things you've got up to in your imagination. Then it's his turn to reveal his filthiest fantasy.

Remember, you do have to be prepared for him to say he fancies the next-door neighbour too. This is a very good exercise for couples - it's a sharp, shocking reminder that we're all individual sexual people with individual sexual thoughts, but if it's done tactfully you shouldn't hurt each other. Rather, the idea is to excite each other. And once you're both turned on from all this dirty talking, share a fantasy together, making it up as you go along. Fantasy can't harm and creates a wonderful shared intimacy. Make love as you fantasise together. That was worth waiting for, wasn't it?!

Dressing Up

Imagine yourself arriving home to find your lover seductively dressed for a night of passion. But how they are dressed will depend on individual taste.

Anything goes here: uniforms, fantasy characters, movie or rock stars. Extend the dressing up with a fantasy scenario and really enter into the game. Or use clothing to create a mood: try a short skirt without panties, a see-through shirt with no bra, or go to bed in suspenders and stockings.

To add to the sexual tension, add a new rule such as not being allowed to touch each other at all. Even hand-holding is forbidden. The idea is to create the exciting barriers that are in place when a couple hardly know each other and are desperate for physical contact. Think it sounds simple? Well, to make it just that bit harder you have to stay at home and you wear something wildly provocative.

For her, what about an all-in-one catsuit or black body stocking to prowl around in? Both are sexy and stylish, making the wearer look and feel gorgeously sleek. For something less obvious, try fishnet or sheer stockings, either stay up style or with built in garter. These are a favourite for wearing both at home, and when dressed for a great night out. For an added dash of excitement during a formal or social evening, it's hard to beat stockings without panties. If you both know the state of semi-undress she's in, the night out may be shorter than planned.

The Things You Need to Know to Reach Orgasms

For Men:

• Tell her that she's marvellous, sexy and beautiful.
• Remember that most women need stimulation of the clitoris. Touching/kissing/stroking will help reach orgasm.
• Give her oral sex. Most women adore this and some claim that they cannot come unless a man 'goes down' on them.
• Caress her breasts or her sensitive spots. A few women climax through breast fondling alone or simply by stroking their sensitive spots.
• Don't be too proud to ask her to show you what she wants.
• If you come before her, don't stop there but try to help her climax too by kissing and stimulating her.
• Remember to provide an atmosphere of love, romance, security and compassion.

For Women

A woman who experiences no or few orgasms can learn to bring herself to climax, over time with little patience and self-stimulation. Patience is needed because it will take time to learn the spots, the touches, feelings and thoughts that will arouse you and continue to arouse you to the point of climax. At first the techniques can be practiced alone, but then with your partner since he too has to be taught how to make love to you.

• When alone explore your body - touch and stoke yourself in the way you would like to be caressed by your lover - learn and enjoy those things that really stimulate you.
• Once you know what stimulates you and helps you reach climax share these experiences with your partner; guide him around those parts of your body that aroused you when you stimulated them - let him find other ways to arouse you too.
• Let your partner stimulate your clitoris during foreplay, when you find yourself on the brink of orgasm after your partner has touched and caressed your clitoris, move straight on to intercourse, with you or your partner continuing to stimulate your clitoris.

source: http://www.seasonsindia.com/

Orgasm Facts

Orgasm is the pinnacle of sexual passion. It is the moment of intense pleasure, which results into feeling relaxed and at ease. The female orgasm lasts a few seconds, followed by a feeling of relaxation and pleasure. Continued stimulation may also result in further orgasms, which though is difficult for females of certain age group.

Everyone can orgasm, but not everyone does. Coming' isn't all that easy - if you're a woman! Nearly all MEN can climax without difficulty, but women just aren't built that way. For a man sexual intercourse alone, that is, penetration of a woman's vagina by a man's penis may be sufficient to climax. But it very often is not enough to make a woman reach orgasm.

Types of Orgasms
Basically there are two types of orgasms that women experience, based on the two different zones of stimulation. The first is a clitoral orgasm, wherein the clitoris is stimulated by lightly touch or stroking it. The second type of orgasm is a vaginal orgasm. This comes from pressure being applied to the "G" spot, usually by the tip of the man's penis. The "G" spot is located on the anterior wall of the vagina, about 2 inches from the opening. Both these experiences are different and women who have experienced both types of orgasms know the difference. However the fact is very few women reach orgasm solely as a result of the penis penetrating the vagina; it's more likely to happen through stimulation (touching/rubbing/kissing) of the clitoris - the highly sensitive bump located at the top of the vaginal lips.

Helpful Positions
Following positions are helpful to reach climax by stimulating the "G" spot:

• Woman on top of man
• Woman lying on her stomach, with man on top, entering her vagina from behind.

Factor Responsible
Factor responsible for orgasm

1. Sexual frequency. In order to reach climax it is important that you have regular sex. The more time that passes between sexual encounters, the harder it is for a woman to become aroused, and less likely to have an orgasm.
2. Another important thing is you should be relaxed and tension free. For a woman to get the most out of the sexual encounter, she must be comfortable with the surroundings and also with the relationship. Thus orgasm is impossible in a situation where there is tension, or lack of trust in the marriage.
3. Also what is important is a understanding and caring partner who know how to stimulate and arouse you and who helps you reach climax.

source: http://www.seasonsindia.com/

First Night Sex

First night sex in a couple's life is always filled with anxiety, nervousness, hesitation and there are many questions which creep up in the back of your mind but with proper guidance and information you can make your first night memorable.

For many people, the first time is quite unpleasant. If it is an arranged marriage then it will be very much difficult to open up and be sexually motivated on the first night itself but just remember one thing - sex is not at all important on the first night, get to know each other better and take it easy. You can also begin with touching and kissing and exploring each other but have sex only if you are ready for it and you are comfortable.

Sex under pressure is no good and it leads to bitterness and disappointments. Make sure that both of you understand each other and respect one another's feelings and desire's. However for a couples, who know each other, first time is easier since, you know each other's likes and dislikes, and are more comfortable with each other.

Some women might have pain and bleeding during insertion because the hymen breaks. Men might have premature ejaculation. These things happen because it's the first time your body experiences such emotions and extreme passion but with time, all these will settle down. But you can always make your first time really special and cherish it all your life.

Following are a few questions that bother you.

Both of You

Am I ready for sex?
This is also another question, which bothers you, and you feel that may be it is not the right time or maybe you should wait but you are not sure. If you th9nk that you are not sure then you need not force yourself into doing it coz then you will only hurt yourself more. There are many ways in which you can give and receive sexual pleasure without having sexual intercourse. For some people giving each other massages, kissing and hugging can be very passionate and can be more fulfilling than sexual intercourse. Therefore what is important is to be comfortable in each other company and not to be pressurized into having sex when you don't really want to. Once you think that you are ready then go ahead and do it. And believe me this time it will really be fulfilling and memorable.

Will I be a good lover?
Don't worry about this question at all. Being a good lover doesn't happen automatically and immediately. You have to give it a little time. And of course with the right partner, patience, time, care, and practice, you will definitely become a great lover. Your first times, for both you, will be fumbling, embarrassing and awkward, but hopefully they'll be the start of great times ahead for the rest of your lives.

How do I have "good" sex?
For this what is most important as discussed above is being comfortable and relaxed in each other's company and wanting to have sex without any compulsion or pressure. It's natural to feel some worries but good communication is the key. Being relaxed and able to share things with your partner who is also probably feeling nervous will ease the tension. And what follows is not a set of rules. Rules about sex are impossible-- what should matter is that what you do makes you feel good. And "feeling good" should last past the sex itself. And that means have safe sex so that you don't have to later worry about getting pregnant or catching some horrible disease.

For Her

What do I do first?
You can't expect him to know what makes you feel good. You'll have to tell him or show him, and that may mean taking some of the initiative, taking his hands and placing them where they make you feel good. Go slow. If it's his first time, he may well be totally nervous about what you're about to do, and his penis may not respond at first. Patience, gentleness, and understanding are required to bring it back to life, and that may be hard for you to achieve, but that's why we told you to give yourselves lots of time.

Will it hurt the first time? Will I bleed?
This is the most common question that girls ask. And the answer is "yes" you might bleed and it will hurt a little when you have sexual intercourse for the first time. But isn't it the truth that behind every happiness there lies little pain. The bleeding usually occurs because the girl has a hymen, which breaks the first time she has sexual intercourse. Sometimes a girl might already have broken her hymen as a result of playing sports, doing strenuous exercise or horse riding. However with the right touch and the right partner, you should be able to enjoy your first time without pain. Take your time, do not force yourself, use a lubricant if necessary, and guide him through. Tell him when it feels good and when it hurts.

What position should I use?
Many women prefer to have sex the first time being on top, where they can control the first entry. Others want to be on the bottom and give their lovers that control. Choose what's best for you. Just remember to tell him to go slow, take your time, and if you feel the need, use a commercial lubricant like KY Jelly.

For Him:

What if I can't get it up?
It may sound funny, but your penis, which has worked great for years, may suddenly go on strike at your first chance at "real" sex. That's natural - you're nervous. Take a deep breath. Do something else for a while with your hands, your lips and your tongue. Try to forget about your anxiety, and your penis will respond. It's only a temporary thing.

Should I tell her if I'm a virgin?
Many men think that because they're men, they should be in charge of the sex, regardless of who has the more experience. If you're a virgin and she's not, tell her, and let her lead if she wishes. This is as much a learning experience as a loving one. Don't be afraid to confess the truth. A lot of women would rather know that your fumbling is inexperience, rather than just sheer ineptitude, and will gratefully show you the ways of the world.

Will we come at the same time?
Don't worry about making orgasm simultaneous, either. Some women do not orgasm during intercourse, and even if your girlfriend is capable of climax, the odds are very much against you coming at the same time. Enjoy yourself, and rely on her to tell you the truth when she's enjoying herself.

What if I orgasm too soon?
If you actually climax much too soon before you wanted to, take your time, take a nap, and try again. The second time you should be much more relaxed and ready to take your time - so will your penis.

Am I big enough? Too big? The right shape?
Another common concern is size. The average penis is slightly more than five and a half inches in length when erect, and that's more than enough to hit every major nerve center in the vagina, the legendary G-spot included. The vagina is capable of stretching to take a large penis, or shape itself to pleasure a small one. Size has very little to do with your ability as a lover.

Another common issue is shape. Some men become concerned because their penis bends downwards, or to the left, and assume that because they never see men like them in erotic movies that they're not normal. Others worry that a downward bend will make sex difficult or painful because the vagina isn't shaped with that bend in mind.

Keep in mind that sex can be performed in any number of positions. The penis and vagina can be matched in many different ways, and each new position can bring new pleasures to you and your partner. Some people believe that a downward-bending penis is much easier to perform oral sex upon.

The Male’s Passion

Libido simply means sexual desire. It is man’s erotic arousal and wish, or intense physical or sexual attraction or craving. It can also be classified as the urge to create life. It is naturally manifested through sex.

However, it is also technically considered to be the free, creative or psychic energy an individual has to put toward personal development, or individuation. Sigmund Freud coined the term and pointed out that libido is the instinctual energy or force that can come into conflict with the conventions of civilized behavior. He further claimed that libido has to be transformed into socially useful energy, through the process of "sublimation."

A man’s libido is different from that of a woman as a man tends to respond to spontaneity, visual stimulation like pornography, and just having a willing partner whilst the latter prefers being romanced, talking, intimacy and lots of time spent with their partner before the sex stuff happens. A man does not seem to be affected by a bad day or fatigue when it comes to sex however there are prevalent cases on men having low libido because of certain factors that affect their interest in sex.

Reduction in libido however can also be the result from psychological causes such as loss of intimacy, stress, distraction or depression. Apart from these, loss of libido may also be derived from the presence of environmental stressors such as prolonged exposure to elevated sound and high levels or bright light.

Physical and psychological causes loss of libido
Although the loss of libido is rare to men, there are physical and psychological causes that are common and more often neglected. Among the physical causes are:

• alcoholism
• abuse of drugs
• anemia
• hyperprolactinaemia
• obesity
• prescribed drugs particularly Proscar (finasteride) a tablet used for prostate problems
• other antidepressants and recreational drugs
• low male hormone level (testosterone)
• any major 'generalized' disease, such as diabetes

On the other hand, the more common issues about are the attributes of psychological causes:

• depression
• stress and overwork
• sex hang-ups
• latent gayness
• serious relationship problems with the wife/partner

Commercial pills and creams

So far, there hasn’t been any magic remedy or cure for the loss of libido on men however there are a lot of commercial pills and creams that alleviate the diminishing sexual desire. But what’s more recommended by physician are proper nutrition, rest and exercise, moderation on vices and more importantly, re-establishing intimate connection with the partner.

It is NOT normal for a man to have no sexual desire and he is being irresponsible if he refuses to get professional help or refuses to work on this dilemma with his wife or his partner. Bottom line, he is saying that he is not interested in saving himself from absolute uselessness. So brother, start facing the problem so that you can once again enjoy the fullness of life!

source: http://www.sexualhealthcare.net/

What Can You Do To Boost Your Libido?

There are many women that will wonder if there is anything that can be done. Sometimes, we think that this is just normal and try to forget about it. Yet, there is not a reason to do that. In fact, those women that are experiencing a loss of sex should consider a women’s libido enhancer.

There are several natural products on the market that are women’s libido enhancers. These can improve the sexual desires that a woman has and also can enhance intimate relationships. They work because they address the hormonal imbalances in order to get the body moving in the right direction again.

Safe women’s libido enhancers often come in the form of herbal supplements. Here are some of the herbs that can help with improving the sex drive in women.

· Sabal Serrulata: this is the biological name for the herb Saw Palmetto. This herb can be used to treat both male and female low libido conditions. It works by triggering the body to produce the right hormones to aid in sexual drive.

· Sarsaparilla: herb used as a sexual and rejuvenating tonic.

· Genitiana Lutea Radix Powder: this herb is used for a total well being that promotes the optimum use of all organs in the body. It helps by allowing them to function at the highest level possible.

· Turnaria Aphrodisiaca: it is generally used as a nervous system stimulant. It works as a tonic for the reproductive organs and it can easily help to improve the sex drive in women.

A loss of sex drive in women usually stems from health related conditions. Yet, that does not mean that there is not help out there. A women's libido enhancer in the form of a supplement with any of these types of herbs in it may be really helpful and a safe alternative as well.

source: http://www.yourbodycanheal.com/

What Causes the Loss of Sex Drive in Women?

The loss of sex drive in women is something that most women will worry and wonder about. What happened? Why am I not interested anymore? While it is frustrating, the loss of sex drive in women usually stems from several health concerns. In most cases, these things can be treated to help your sexual life get back to normal… One option is to consider a women’s libido enhancer but we will talk about this in just a minute.

The first thing to understand is what causes the loss of sex drive in woman. While it is necessary to speak to a doctor to make the final determination here are possible causes of reduced libido:

· Hormonal imbalance. There are many types of things that can be imbalanced here including progesterone. Progesterone is responsible for your libido but can fall quite low during pre-menopause.

· Fatigue. Of course you can see that there is a real connection here. One of the most common reasons for fatigue is the fact that there is another hormonal imbalance or there is poor nutrition coming into the body.

· Adrenal exhaustion can also be a factor that causes the hormones to go the wrong direction. It can be caused by medical menopause occurrences.

· Stress, depression, and even child birth are also contributing factors to the lack of sex drive that women have. These situations may not be as easy to fix, but they are common signs of something being wrong.

source: http://www.yourbodycanheal.com/

Breast Implants -- The Over and Under Approach

Introduction

Pose this question to any man. "Which do you prefer on a woman, small, natural breasts or larger synthetic breasts?" If you ask most women how they think men would answer, the majority would say the latter. Although there have been no definitive national surveys on this issue, they would probably be right. Why this opinion may be correct is dealt with in the Breast History page and the answers are certainly open to debate. However, for whatever reason, whether it is social, cultural, occupational, or personal, there are millions of women who have already decided to install breast implants inside of their bodies and millions more are most likely to follow in their footsteps. If you posed the same question above to women, the universal answer would be almost unanimous for the natural breasts, particularly if the alternative is surgery. Most people do not "like" to have surgery anymore than they "like" to have a root canal. Yet, somehow breast implants have become more common than root canals.

Life is Seldom Fair

Actually, the entire issue is decidedly unfair to women. If there is some common ground here, men might view the issue like this. To be honest, many men are quite sensitive about penis size and if a medical team ever manages to perfect a penile transplant or enlargement procedure to the same degree of routineness as breast implants, the cultural and financial impact is almost unimaginable. Yet, men can live their entire lives and very few people other than their mother, lovers, or wives will ever see or know the size of their penis. Women are not so fortunate since the size of a woman's breast is considerably less difficult to detect than the size of a man's penis whether underneath clothing or in bathing suits. One wonders that if men had to somehow display their sexual organs on the outside, they might be less obsessed with the size of women's breasts, or at least be more sensitive to the issues from a woman's viewpoint. There is even a strange paradox here since surveys often indicate that women are not particularly concerned about the size of a man's penis.

Either women are more personally enlightened or men have been culturally brainwashed into equating female breast size with sexual attractiveness. If the latter is true, millions of women have also come to feel that larger breasts are the key to personal fulfillment and sexual worth to the male gender. This issue could be debated for years with no solution in sight. From a logical and mental health standpoint, neither sex should feel diminished because of the size of their sexual organs or other body parts. Nevertheless, cultural attitudes change slowly and in this era, the large, youthful, and firm breast look is definitely the norm. How each individual reacts to social pressure should be an entirely personal matter; however, millions of women will still feed the need to have larger, firmer, and youthful looking breasts and millions of men will be encouraging them.

Making the Decision, The Over/Under Option

After considering all the options and alternatives, many women will still decide that breast implants will improve their lives and the majority of the women who already have breast implants are initially quite happy with them. Many women also do not realize that there are two major locations for a breast implant on their body. One procedure is the "on top of the chest muscle" procedure and the other is the "under the chest muscle procedure". Although the phrase, "attractive, natural looking breasts" can mean many different things, most people know what a natural breast looks like even though that can refer to many different looks. The two different procedures are dealt with in more detail on the breast alternatives page but in general, the under the muscle procedure results in more natural looking breasts. This is most noticeable at the top of the breast where the new breast installed by the under muscle method will have a gentle 30 to 45 degree upward slant from the nipple towards the upper chest wall. This is usually how natural beasts look and the downward slope on natural breasts can be even more pronounced. Although there are exceptions and depending on the age of the woman, natural breasts seldom look like they are standing straight out and they are more cone or pear shaped. Breast implants professionally installed under the muscle tend to mimic the natural look more effectively, particularly by having both a degree of upward slant and downward slope. On the other hand, breast implants installed on top of the muscle often have almost no upward slant, stand straight out with little downward slope and look un-naturally rounded. The final appearance of any breast implant varies with a number of factors including the size of the implant, the size and structure of the woman and the skill of the surgeon. The examples given below are not intended to promote one procedure over another and what is appropriate for a specific individual depends upon many factors. This is strictly a matter of personal opinion, but some examples are provided in the next section to illustrate how the different viewpoints provided by the two different procedures might look in comparison with the natural look.

source: http://www.allnaturalbreastcare.com/

Nursing Can Decrease Your Sexual Desire

Women who breastfeed have elevated levels of prolactin, a hormone that stimulates milk production. For some women, the increase in this hormone can cause a decrease in sex drive.

Your body also produces less estrogen when nursing, and this can result in vaginal dryness--a definite party pooper in the lust department. A vaginal lubricant or estrogen cream can remedy that.

But with three young kids, it's more likely that exhaustion and lack of sleep are putting the kibosh on your sexy feelings. Maybe some changes in your lifestyle and sleep habits can have you sleeping like a baby.

Also make sure you're consuming enough calories (breastfeeding burns about 500 extra calories a day), and don't forget a multivitamin.

You might want to have your thyroid function and iron levels checked with a simple blood test. Both an under- and overactive thyroid can cause fatigue. Low iron is associated with anemia, a big energy zapper.

For now, try to find other ways to express emotional intimacy and affection with your husband. Share a video or a quiet dinner after the kids are in bed. Talk to him about what gets in the way of wanting to be sexual, and enlist his help in finding ways around them. Schedule some time off to recharge your batteries. If you need to become reacquainted with each other, make more "play dates" for you and him.

source: http://www.prevention.com/

10 Quick Sex Questions and Answers

1. Where can I meet a partner?

Meeting a new partner isn't always easy. So where do you start? Try the following places:

• Gyms: It's quite easy to start talking to strangers here.
• Friends: Your friends have many other friends or colleagues. Accept all invitations.
• Evening classes: Learn something new. Likeminded people will do the same classes.
• Check your colleagues: Only the single ones, that is.
• Join societies/clubs: People with similar interests will also be there.

2. Is masturbation good for me?

For many years people believed masturbation was bad – it's not. The only harm it can do is to feel guilty about it. Point is, it's actually good for you, because:

• It keeps the sperm supply healthy by getting your body to keep on producing fresh sperm;
• It helps you to get to know your own sexual responses;
• It helps you to learn to postpone ejaculation and get more powerful climaxes.

3. Will sex be difficult the first time?

Many young people feel nervous before having sex the first time. What are the things to remember?

• Only if you want to: Don't let other people pressurise you. This is your decision only.
• Relax: Stop worrying that you won't know what to do – your body knows.
• Condoms: This is a non-negotiable to prevent infections or an unwanted pregnancy.
• Do some planning: Choose a private venue where you will not be interrupted.
• Wait: Having sex for the first time means so much more if you really care about your partner.
• Sex can be messy: There will be natural vaginal lubrication and your own ejaculate around. Be prepared.
• Willing partner: It is essential that your partner is not pressurised into doing this by you.

4. Why are condoms good contraceptives?

"Be condom-wise" and "No glove, no love" are slogans seen everywhere. Why are condoms seen as so effective?

• Pregnancy prevention: Condoms, when used to correctly, go a long way to preventing pregnancies, but they are not as effective as many other forms of contraception.
• Easy-to-find: Many roadside shops and all chemists stock condoms. They are not difficult to find – at any time of the day.
• Easy-to-use: Condoms are not complicated to use – in fact, most teenagers will know how. Other contraceptives can be quite complicated.
• Cheap: Condoms are not expensive and can also be obtained free at family planning clinics.
• STI prevention: Condoms prevent STIs, icluding HIV, as it provides a protective sheath between two sex partners.

5. My husband has no interest in sex

Many wives are frustrated by their husband's lack of interest in sex. What could be the cause of this lack of interest?

• Physical causes: These include heart disease and disease of blood vessels, diabetes, multiple sclerosis, alcoholism, smoking, abdominal surgery, damage to the spinal cord or nerves, low levels of certain hormones, some prescription drugs (antidepressants).
• Psychological causes: These could include job stress, relationship problems, financial concerns, depression or anxiety about poor sexual performance, psychiatric conditions.

6. My wife has no interest in sex

Many husbands wonder why their wives have no interest in sex. What can be the cause of this?

• Physical causes: Hormone imbalances, underlying inefficiency of vital chemical messengers, smaller clitoral size, reduced or inadequate numbers of sensory receptors in the sexual tissues, configuration of the sexual tissues, feedback loops evolving from pain on intercourse.
  Psychological causes: Anxiety, depression, overbearing family responsibilities, money worries, miscarriage, bereavement, rape, child abuse and paternal or religious influences.

7. How can I prevent STIs?

There are many different sexually transmitted diseases. Here is a short list of things you can do to prevent them.

• Choose your partner carefully. If your partner has had many other sexual relationships, the chances increase of your being infected with an STI.
  Stay faithful to your partner. Monogamy is still one of the best ways of preventing STIs.
  Never have sex without a condom. Condoms go along way to preventing the transmission of many STIs. Don't ever break this rule – it could cost you your life.
  Masturbate. The sexologist recommends this rather than having sex with someone you know nothing about. People don't get STIs from masturbating.

8. How does pregnancy occur?

Not all pregnancies are welcome and all sexual partners are not always chosen with the kind of care that would be wise. But what needs to happen for a pregnancy to occur?

• Sexual intercourse ending in ejaculation, or at least an opportunity for sperm to get to female ova.
• No contraception or incorrectly used contraception.
• Ovulation – the middle four days of a woman's 28-day cycle.

9. What are the symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases?

The frightening thing is that often they have no symptoms. STIs like chlamydia and HIV have no easy-to-spot symptoms. But there are other symptoms that should alert you:

• A discharge from the penis or the vagina
• Genital warts
• Rashes or bumps or small ulcers on your genitals
• An itch that wasn't there before you had sexual intercourse with this person

10. What are the signs of abusive behaviour?

Many people who end up as abusers, both men and women, start off as being charming and extremely pleasant. But relationships slowly deteriorate and the following are signs that you could be abused:

• Excessive desire for control over your every move
• Constant criticism and name-calling
• Extreme jealousy and constant checking up on you
• Episodes of violence – whether weeks or months apart
• Constant threats
• Attempts to isolate you from friends and family

source: http://www.health24.com/

Cyber Sex -- How To Do It???

Cyber sex is an alternative kind of sex that couples and singles alike are engaging in. The beauty of cyber sex is that you can remain totally anonymous and have some of the safest sex possible.

So whether you're in a long-distance relationship or you enjoy engaging in sexual fantasy over the Net, cyber sex can offer you a somewhat fulfilling sex life.

Where can you find someone?

There are plenty of places where you can find eager beavers for cyber sex. They include:

• Instant messaging
• IRC chat
• Online dating services
• Chat rooms
• Message boards
• E-mail

If you already have a partner, you can meet her at an agreed upon destination on the Net or even keep up your cyber sexing throughout the day via e-mail. It's up to you.

How do you do it?

When it comes to cyber sex, you may want to invest in a microphone, at the very least. That way, the woman you're getting it on with can hear your excitement and know that she's turning you on. As well, there's nothing more difficult than being incredibly excited and having to type with one hand.

Talk or write
Whether or not you have a microphone, you will need to be creative with your language. Imagination is the key to successful cyber sex. However, the language you use will depend on the other person. Some women want nasty, vulgar language, while others prefer the "we're walking on the beach and you look over my way," kind of lingo. Feel her out before you start engaging in the fantasy talk.

If you don't have a mic, don't type things like "gasp, gasp" or "oh yeah, baby, yeah!" As well, being a good speller helps a lot, especially if the other person is.

Start off by asking what she's wearing, then describe what you look like (if you don't have a camera that allows her to see you, then you can look like whomever you want). Then converse back and forth. Let her start a fantasy, then you continue it, and keep going back and forth until you both end up having sex in the fantasy.

Touch yourself
While there really are no rules when it comes to cyber sex, you're better off throwing yourself into the scene and surrendering to the fantasy. You may feel somewhat ridiculous ultimately masturbating to a computer at first, but if you can give in to the situation, then it can be a great experience.

If she can't see you, but you have a mic, breathe heavily on occasion to let her know that you're into the fantasy. Describe what you're doing to yourself, or, if you're engaging in a fantasy, what you're "doing" to her.

No mic, no cam

If you don't have a mic or a cam, then, rather than masturbate with one hand and type with the other, rotate. Let her write while you satisfy yourself, and then, after you climax, you do the writing while she gets off.

As well, not having either of these things will likely result in your having a difficult time engaging with someone who does. As well, you should be wary of who you're engaging with, as there are plenty of men who disguise themselves as women on the Net.

Things to keep in mind:

• Remain anonymous -- don't reveal any personal information.
• Don't make a habit of it -- make an effort to have real relationships with women, away from the Net.
• If you surrender yourself to the fantasy, the other person can be anyone you want.

Welcome to cyberia

Enjoy your experience on the Net and until next time, keep one hand on the keyboard.

source: AskMen.com

Cybersex

Cybersex can be defined as those sexual acts that are derived from surfing electronic media sites that would titillate the sexual mind and that satisfies the erotic needs of an individual, who constantly watches explicit sexual sites.

These sites might be on Websites, Chat-rooms with Web cams, streaming video material, live sex shows and/or SMS messages. Reuters reported that in a period of two years the sexual sites on the Internet, grew with more than 27% (from 22 million – 28 million in 2001).

Reuters stated further that 6.5% of male Internet users are compulsive Cybersex fans. This condition can be defined after a person has developed compulsive sexual thoughts and/or behaviour that would lead to increasingly serious consequences, in both the addict’s internal and external worlds.

The consequences on the psychological (internal) side may include the development of severe depression, suicidal thoughts, low self-esteem, shame, self-hatred, hopelessness, despair, helplessness, intense anxiety, loneliness, moral conflict, contradictions between ethical values and behaviours, fear of abandonment, spiritual decline, distorted thinking, remorse and self-deceit. In the external world this person might put his family and work on the line.

The problem starts when the online fantasy lives are so intense that off-line relationships may suffer. These sufferers engaged in Cybersex on average 5.7 hours/week by visiting porn sites and sex chat rooms. The reported reasons for visiting these sites frequently are given as stress relieving and not for entertainment reasons. Usually the addict will engage in Cybersex actions that he/she would not attempt in real life. It is further reported that they have reduced real time sexual activity with an offline partner; this would therefore further alienate these people from real life experiences and enhance their behaviour through sexual fantasy.

source: http://www.health24.com/

Baby Making Sex

Baby making sex is generally no different from any other sex. However, the goal is to have semen deposited near the cervix. All things being equal, this is not usually a concern for the average couple trying to conceive a baby. There are certain positions that are more likely to help you achieve the goal of getting pregnant sooner, particularly if you are having certain fertility issues. Here are some positions for sex and their potential risks and benefits in the conception department.

Man on Top (Missionary Position)

This is a pretty standard sexual position. This position will help with face-to-face intimacy, perhaps allowing for a greater possibility for orgasm. It also allows you to lay back and enjoy the show, so to speak. In this position, semen is deposited near the mouth of the cervix.

The hard part of this position is that it may be more difficult for the woman to have an orgasm, which is quite important in the conception process.

Placing a pillow under your hips during intercourse and/or after your partner has an orgasm can help you get pregnant. By slightly tilting the position of the hips, you allow gravity to aid in the travel of the sperm to and through the cervix. You only need to do this for about 30 minutes to obtain the benefits.

Woman on Top

This is generally thought as being counterproductive to getting pregnant because the sperm is deposited near the cervix, but immediately heads the opposite direction. This can be corrected if you lay down immediately after your partner has an orgasm. You can also use the pillow under your buttocks after this position. The good news about the woman on top is that the intercourse is deep penetrating and can help both you and your partner achieve orgasms, even if it is from manual stimulation which is easier in this position.

Hands and Knees Position (Doggie Style)

This position has a lot of conception benefits. Since there tends to be deeper penetration semen is placed closer to the cervix. While you lack the face-to-face intimacy of other positions, it is also easier to have manual stimulation of the clitoris, allowing for orgasms. Skip the post-coitus pillow if you maintain this position for a few minutes after having sex.

If you have a tilted uterus, you can use this position to make it easier to reach the cervix. If you also convert the position to a knee-chest position by bending your arms slightly to give you even more of an angle. This can be just what the doctor ordered! This is also true if your partner has low sperm counts or poor sperm motility.

The sperm has to work less to get where it is going.

Side Lying

Side lying sex is nice and slow and passionate. It can also be called spooning. Once your partner has his orgasm you can roll over and use your trusty pillow to help you keep sperm near your cervix. This is also good for manual stimulation of the clitoris.

This position is also good for couples where one or more of the partners have a weight issue. This prevents either partner from having to either bear the weight or to hold themselves up. Back problems also fall into this category.

Standing

This position is fairly counterproductive, but fun. Try this for times in your cycle when you’re not concerned with getting pregnant. Remember variety is a good thing and recreation sex is just as important as procreational sex.

Erectile Dysfunction (ED) & Ejaculatory Problems

These issues are common factors for some in infertility. Any position that helps your partner with these issues is the right position for you as a couple. Experiment and see what works best for you.

source: http://infertility.about.com/

Sexual Body Language of A Woman

When you're in bed with a woman, do you ever get the feeling that she's uncomfortable or that something is amiss? Are you able to read your girl's body language?

Well, you might be right -- there might be something she is telling you. Check out these body language movements and reactions that likely mean that something is up with your girl. If you are able to confront these issues, you may be able to eliminate the sexual party pooper that is dwelling in your girl.

She Won't Look at You

If she lets you get inside her but won't even look up at you, something is definitely up. And not in a good way. If every time you lean in to kiss her, she turns her face and doesn't open her eyes, there is definitely a problem.

Possible reasons: It's possible that she's shy and isn't very experienced in bed. If she won't let your mouth get anywhere near hers, you might have bad breath, she might have bad breath, your facial hair might be scraping her face or, if you went down on her, she might find it "distasteful" to kiss afterwards.

Fix it: The next time you're having sex, pull out and make your way to her face; in a soap opera-romance way, gently hold her head in your hands and kiss her like Casanova. If you feel like she wants to pull away, let her and ask her what the deal is. The only way to figure out why she's reacting that way is by asking.

Her Expressions Are Stoic

If you're giving the session your all and she's staring into space or focusing all her attention on the ceiling, something has got to give.

Possible reasons: It's possible that she doesn't like sex much. As well, she might want to be engaging in some other sex act and is afraid to tell you about it. Maybe she feels like a caged animal and wants to be on top or maybe you're not giving her enough room to maneuver.

Fix it: Put her on top and tell her you want to watch her move. Or, when you're not having sex, ask her about her sexual fantasies; maybe that'll help you get to the bottom of her body language behavior.

She just lies there, she acts like a guy, or worse yet, she never gives...

She Doesn't Move

You're pulling out all the stops; you're going down, coming up, licking, kissing, biting, rubbing, and all that good stuff. And she just lies there -- like a corpse.

Possible reasons: She may not like sex. Or she may not like having it with you. Or worse, she might think that all she's actually required to do is be present. As hard as it may be to believe, there are women who think that lying there amounts to participation. Sad perspective, isn't it?

Fix it: You have to say something. Ask her if she feels desired by your actions; if she says she does, then tell her you would like to feel that way too. If you're too shy to communicate verbally about this ordeal, then tell her that you'd like to role-play and switch positions. Let her be you and you be her. Her body language will almost certainly change. Problem solved -- orgasms for everyone.

She Acts Like a Guy

Okay, so this might be a gross generalization, but she might do things like orgasm and want to come to a screeching halt and not let you touch her after it's over or forego foreplay entirely.

Possible reasons: I don't see the problem... Just kidding. Everyone has differing desires when it comes to the realm of sex, so rather than judge her, find out what's behind the behavior. She may prefer straight-up sex with no frills or she may simply place more importance on her own orgasm than on yours.

Fix it: If you want foreplay, then seduce her. If you want to ensure that you orgasm as well, ask her if she's satisfied; if she says yes, then tell her you want to feel just as good as she does.

She Hides Her Body

So, your girl is acting like a nun and won't get naked in front of you. As much as you want to enjoy her body visually, she leaves the room by slowly backing out. Or, she needs to have all the lights off when you have sex and the blankets need to be covering her. Let's break that habit.

Possible reasons: Well, there's no doubt that she's insecure about her body, and she thinks you might get turned off if you see all her flaws.

Fix it: Show her that even though you have flaws, you know that she loves you anyway -- but don't point your flaws. Perhaps the most important thing is to tell her that you think she's beautiful and that you appreciate her body. It could take time a repetition on your part to break down those walls that she has constructed, but it'll be worth it once you do.

She Never Reciprocates

You go down on her and take your time, making sure to please her in every way possible, but she never goes down on you. You seduce her constantly, doing your best to turn her on and make her enjoy the sex, and yet she never comes on to you or initiates sex.

Possible reasons: First, it's possible she thinks that it's your responsibility to turn her on, and not the other way around. Second, some women think that guys get turned on just by seeing a girl, so therefore she doesn't really have to come on to you. Oddly enough, some women even think that being "aggressive" is unladylike and could turn a guy off.

Fix it: Tell her that you love receiving oral sex and you fantasize about how great she would be at it. Tell her that it's important for you to feel desired and that she can show you by coming onto you every now and again. That ought to do it -- empathy is a great thing.

Make it Work

Sex as you must know by now (because I've written about it ad nauseam) is just as important as trust, love and all that other good stuff. If you and your girl aren't on the same sexual wavelength, chances are things aren't going to suddenly change.

Dare to discuss it. Ask her what she thinks about sex, how important it is to her, and how often she'd like to engage in it. If her responses are way off from what you'd expect, then you might want to reconsider opting to spend the majority of your time with her.

source: http://www.askmen.com

The French Manicure and Pedicure

Manicure

This neutral look makes nails look clean and healthy and suits all occasions

Although it takes a lot of practice it's worth the effort once you see the finished effect. Most polish ranges include soft pink and white shades that enable you to create an attractive French manicure

1. Clean and file your nails to the desired shape, then apply a thin base coat.
2. Apply white polish to the tip. Start at one side and sweep the loaded brush toward the centre of the nail in a diagonal swipe. Repeat from the other side. This will create a 'V'shape, which you can correct by filling the open top of the 'V'. Repeat on all nails.
3. When dry, apply sheer varnish (beige, clear or pink) over entire nail. Experiment with various colour options in order to create sophisticated variations on the classic French manicure.

Tips

• A simpler option is to find some pre-cut, self adhesive French manicure guides. Lift the edge of one strip and remove from the backing paper. Place it across the nail to divide thetip from the rest of the nsil, leaving a small strip. Press down firmly to smooth out any ripples. Repeat on all nails. Apply white nail varnish to the nail tip and allow to dry. Remove guides and apply sheer varnish over entire nail.
• Another option is to run a white pencil under the free edges of your nails to accentuate the tips.

Pedicure

This is a neutral option that makes almost any foot look good. If your toenails are not your best feature, opt for clear, pearlized or pale-coloured nail varnish so as not to draw too much attention to them.

1. Follow the basic steps for a pedicure until you have applied a basecoat.
2. Apply white polish to the nail tip by starting at one side and sweeping across the nail in a single, steady movement. Keep the strip as narrow as possible. Repeat for all the nails.
3. Apply sheer pink, natural or peach polish over the entire nail, painting a strip of colour down the centre of the nail, then overlapping with a strip on either side, but avoiding the cuticles. Leave to dry thoroughly before applying a second coat.
4. Apply a clear topcoat to seal in colour. Leave to dry for as long as possible before putting on your shoes - at least an hour, as socks or tights can leave unsightly imprints if you rush the drying stage.
   

source: http://www.ivillage.co.uk/

Tips For Nail Care

It’s that time of year for spring cleaning and outdoor gardening. While our hands and fingernails are an integral part of these chores, you don’t have to ruin your manicure.

Consider the following nail care tips and your nails will never show that you have been digging in the dirt or scrubbing that kitchen floor.

1. For spring cleaning and daily household chores that require you to get your hands wet, wear cotton-lined rubber gloves to protect your nails. Why? Our fingernails swell when they get wet and shrink as they dry, which causes our fingernails to have less strength. Cotton-lined rubber gloves will help absorb moisture while keeping your hands and nails dry.

2. While working in the garden, it is important, as with cleaning, to wear the right kind of gloves. When dealing with damp soil, chemicals, or liquid fertilizers, it is best to wear rubber gloves that are water resistant. For gardening projects such as digging or weeding, consider wearing thicker gloves made of cowhide.

3. Before putting on cleaning or gardening gloves, apply some lotion on your hands or apply cream on your cuticles to moisturize. Try hand creams that contain oils such as shea butter, eucalyptus, flower or jojoba.

4. To help prevent cracks in your nails, rub moisturizer that contains alphahydroxy acids or lanolin into nail tips. For another moisturizing agent, you can also massage vitamin E oil into your cuticles. Tip – keep a bottle of vitamin E oil next to your bathroom sink to remind yourself to apply it to your cuticles.

5. When filing or buffing your nails, always go in one direction. If you file or buff your nails back and forth, this will cause splitting.

6. To promote nail strength and flexibility, eat foods that contain folic acid such as whole grains, berries, kale, and citrus fruits.

7. It is also important to drink plenty of water. This is necessary for fingernail health because it keeps the body hydrated.

8. To avoid breaking nails, don’t use them as tools, such as digging or picking.

9. Use products containing alcohol sparingly. These products can make fingernails prone to breaking.

10. Do you file the corners of your nails? This may weaken the nails and cause them to break more easily.

source: http://ezinearticles.com/

How to Get a Professional Manicure/Pedicure at Home

No doubt about it: professional manicures and pedicures are relaxing. Just having your hands and feet cared for by another person is powerfully therapeutic. But if you're not in the mood to splurge, you can also do it yourself at home.

Tools:

• Aromatic oils
• Exfoliator
• Lotion
• Non-acetone polish remover
• Orangewood stick (instead of plastic)
• Real cotton balls

Step by Step

1. Take off old polish.
   Use a non-acetone remover because it is easier on your nails and skin, and doesn't have any harsh vapors.
2. File your nails.
   Try not to file the sides too much -- it can cause hangnails and weaken your nails.
3. Soak in warm water.
   Soak hands for two to three minutes, and feet for five minutes. Since soap can be drying, use scented salts or essential oils instead. If your feet are callused, use a pumice stone when feet are wet and use a foot file after they are dry. If you do this once a day, calluses won't build up.
4. Condition cuticles.
   Use oil (if you don't have cuticle oil use olive oil or baby oil), then gently push back the cuticle with an orangewood stick to get a really nice shape. Optional step: Use an exfoliator to slough off dry skin, then rinse and put on lotion.
5. Give yourself a massage.
   Slather hands and feet with a good vitamin E-enriched lotion. Use a non-acetone polish remover to clean the nail bed, wiping off any remaining cuticle oil or massage lotion (the surface can't be greasy when you apply polish). Clean under the nail too, with an orangewood stick wrapped with cotton and dipped in the remover. I prefer wood because it's kinder to the tender skin under the nail. Plastic is okay in a pinch -- but if your remover has acetone, the plastic will melt.
6. Apply nail strengthener.
   Or use a regular base coat. This protective layer is especially important if you're using dark polish (intense pigment can permanently stain nails).
7. Apply two layers of nail color.
   Polish the ends of your nails, too, for extra wear.
8. Apply a clear top coat.
   Touch the ends with this, too -- if your nail was a shiny new car, this would be the front bumper. Let dry and show off your gorgeous hands and feet!

Sonia Kashuk's book, Real Beauty, is available at bookstores nationwide.