First Night Sex

First night sex in a couple's life is always filled with anxiety, nervousness, hesitation and there are many questions which creep up in the back of your mind but with proper guidance and information you can make your first night memorable.

For many people, the first time is quite unpleasant. If it is an arranged marriage then it will be very much difficult to open up and be sexually motivated on the first night itself but just remember one thing - sex is not at all important on the first night, get to know each other better and take it easy. You can also begin with touching and kissing and exploring each other but have sex only if you are ready for it and you are comfortable.

Sex under pressure is no good and it leads to bitterness and disappointments. Make sure that both of you understand each other and respect one another's feelings and desire's. However for a couples, who know each other, first time is easier since, you know each other's likes and dislikes, and are more comfortable with each other.

Some women might have pain and bleeding during insertion because the hymen breaks. Men might have premature ejaculation. These things happen because it's the first time your body experiences such emotions and extreme passion but with time, all these will settle down. But you can always make your first time really special and cherish it all your life.

Following are a few questions that bother you.

Both of You

Am I ready for sex?
This is also another question, which bothers you, and you feel that may be it is not the right time or maybe you should wait but you are not sure. If you th9nk that you are not sure then you need not force yourself into doing it coz then you will only hurt yourself more. There are many ways in which you can give and receive sexual pleasure without having sexual intercourse. For some people giving each other massages, kissing and hugging can be very passionate and can be more fulfilling than sexual intercourse. Therefore what is important is to be comfortable in each other company and not to be pressurized into having sex when you don't really want to. Once you think that you are ready then go ahead and do it. And believe me this time it will really be fulfilling and memorable.

Will I be a good lover?
Don't worry about this question at all. Being a good lover doesn't happen automatically and immediately. You have to give it a little time. And of course with the right partner, patience, time, care, and practice, you will definitely become a great lover. Your first times, for both you, will be fumbling, embarrassing and awkward, but hopefully they'll be the start of great times ahead for the rest of your lives.

How do I have "good" sex?
For this what is most important as discussed above is being comfortable and relaxed in each other's company and wanting to have sex without any compulsion or pressure. It's natural to feel some worries but good communication is the key. Being relaxed and able to share things with your partner who is also probably feeling nervous will ease the tension. And what follows is not a set of rules. Rules about sex are impossible-- what should matter is that what you do makes you feel good. And "feeling good" should last past the sex itself. And that means have safe sex so that you don't have to later worry about getting pregnant or catching some horrible disease.

For Her

What do I do first?
You can't expect him to know what makes you feel good. You'll have to tell him or show him, and that may mean taking some of the initiative, taking his hands and placing them where they make you feel good. Go slow. If it's his first time, he may well be totally nervous about what you're about to do, and his penis may not respond at first. Patience, gentleness, and understanding are required to bring it back to life, and that may be hard for you to achieve, but that's why we told you to give yourselves lots of time.

Will it hurt the first time? Will I bleed?
This is the most common question that girls ask. And the answer is "yes" you might bleed and it will hurt a little when you have sexual intercourse for the first time. But isn't it the truth that behind every happiness there lies little pain. The bleeding usually occurs because the girl has a hymen, which breaks the first time she has sexual intercourse. Sometimes a girl might already have broken her hymen as a result of playing sports, doing strenuous exercise or horse riding. However with the right touch and the right partner, you should be able to enjoy your first time without pain. Take your time, do not force yourself, use a lubricant if necessary, and guide him through. Tell him when it feels good and when it hurts.

What position should I use?
Many women prefer to have sex the first time being on top, where they can control the first entry. Others want to be on the bottom and give their lovers that control. Choose what's best for you. Just remember to tell him to go slow, take your time, and if you feel the need, use a commercial lubricant like KY Jelly.

For Him:

What if I can't get it up?
It may sound funny, but your penis, which has worked great for years, may suddenly go on strike at your first chance at "real" sex. That's natural - you're nervous. Take a deep breath. Do something else for a while with your hands, your lips and your tongue. Try to forget about your anxiety, and your penis will respond. It's only a temporary thing.

Should I tell her if I'm a virgin?
Many men think that because they're men, they should be in charge of the sex, regardless of who has the more experience. If you're a virgin and she's not, tell her, and let her lead if she wishes. This is as much a learning experience as a loving one. Don't be afraid to confess the truth. A lot of women would rather know that your fumbling is inexperience, rather than just sheer ineptitude, and will gratefully show you the ways of the world.

Will we come at the same time?
Don't worry about making orgasm simultaneous, either. Some women do not orgasm during intercourse, and even if your girlfriend is capable of climax, the odds are very much against you coming at the same time. Enjoy yourself, and rely on her to tell you the truth when she's enjoying herself.

What if I orgasm too soon?
If you actually climax much too soon before you wanted to, take your time, take a nap, and try again. The second time you should be much more relaxed and ready to take your time - so will your penis.

Am I big enough? Too big? The right shape?
Another common concern is size. The average penis is slightly more than five and a half inches in length when erect, and that's more than enough to hit every major nerve center in the vagina, the legendary G-spot included. The vagina is capable of stretching to take a large penis, or shape itself to pleasure a small one. Size has very little to do with your ability as a lover.

Another common issue is shape. Some men become concerned because their penis bends downwards, or to the left, and assume that because they never see men like them in erotic movies that they're not normal. Others worry that a downward bend will make sex difficult or painful because the vagina isn't shaped with that bend in mind.

Keep in mind that sex can be performed in any number of positions. The penis and vagina can be matched in many different ways, and each new position can bring new pleasures to you and your partner. Some people believe that a downward-bending penis is much easier to perform oral sex upon.