Wake up Your Lazy Sex Life

If your approach to sex is more Hokey Cokey than Kama Sutra, it could be time for a rumpo rethink. Forget fear or the fumbling of a novice: the worst passion killer in the world is indifference.

GOING SOLO

New research from John Hopkins University, USA, shows if you want better moves and orgasms in bed, the best person to practise on is yourself.

Masturbation and sexual fantasies help sustain your desire to have sex so put aside the blushes and experiment.

Vary the ways you touch yourself and where you do it - don't get stuck in a solo sexual rut where only one specific thing will bring you to orgasm.

Not only will you learn what turns you on most, you'll be able to point your partner in the right direction too.

POSITION PARANOIA

Contrary to some sexperts' advice, you don't have to wrap your legs around your head to have a good time in bed.

Most of us work around five key positions we like because a) they work and b) we can do them.

Fair enough - but you might like to know that you can vary most positions with just a small movement and turn something ordinary into a whole new sexual experience.

For example, if you're a missionary fan, lie on your back as usual but keep your legs closer together and straight as your man penetrates you. This will give you major clitoral stimulation.

If the doggie position is more your style try these simple variations:

• Lower yourself down onto your elbows, this will change the depth of penetration.
• Kneel against the side of the bed, resting your torso on the bed so you don't have to support your weight and can relax more.
• Lean over the bed supporting your weight on folded arms with your head on a pillow. Your fella should then come up to you in a standing position and lift your legs up to his waist and enter you from behind.

THE BIG O

The good news for all lazy girls is that trying harder won't actually help you achieve orgasm.

If you're anxious, tense or pushing too hard, your orgasm will move further out of reach.

There are moves you can work on to give yourself a head start though. Take the CAT or Coital Alignment Technique, for example.

Your man gets on top of you and lines up his pelvis over yours. This means he lies higher up your body than usual, resting on elbows, so that when he enters you he's riding high and will press your pubic bone and clitoris as he thrusts.

You then push up with your pelvis as he pushes down. If you press against each other as you do it and keep your pace steady, an orgasm will be yours for the taking not faking.

MORNING HAS BROKEN

The morning after the night before is a minefield of potential disasters.

Guarantee you'll see each other again by:

• Having a sense of humour about the night before.
• Telling him you had a great time.
• Giving him a time frame for another date.
• Being nice (even if you're Miss Grumpy in the mornings).
• Not freaking out about the fact you had sex.

KINKY ROOTS

While you may not be interested in whipping your bloke into a sexual frenzy or dressing up as a French maid, you're probably more than a little curious about kinky sex and what it can do for your sex life.

While it's definitely not for everyone, adding a kinky twist is the fastest way to add a bit of zing to your sexual encounters.

Try one (or all!) of the following ways to get kinky without trying too hard:

• Access his best fantasy and act it out for him.
• Drop some naked pictures of yourself into his lap.
• Write him a filthy love letter and leave it in his diary or bag.
• Buy some handcuffs and leave them hanging from the bed.
• Go on a sex-starvation diet where all you can do is talk about it all week.

source: Book "Lazy Girl's Guide to Good Sex", Author Anita Naik