A number of things contribute to a decline in sex drive after the birth of your baby. Labour is a physically exhausting and highly emotional process, so it's only natural that your body will need some time to recover! In addition, your hormone levels change significantly after birth, and of course you will also need time to adjust to your new baby.
Why won't I feel like having sex?
It's only natural to overlook sex for days or more likely weeks, after you have your baby. Some doctors used to suggest waiting until after your 6-week postnatal check-up, but this is probably over cautious. You should, however, wait until the lochia (bleeding and discharge) has subsided. This can take between 2 and 6 weeks, perhaps longer for some people. You should also wait until healing has occurred if you had a caesarean, stitches or forceps delivery.
Some of the reasons you may not feel like, or enjoy sex include:
- tiredness and feelings of general discomfort
- pain or tightness due to an episiotomy or stitches - this can sometimes take months to subside
- less natural lubrication for up to 8-10 weeks after the birth, particularly if breastfeeding. You can purchase a lubricating jelly from your pharmacy if necessary.
- feeling unattractive because of physical changes after childbirth - exercise will help!
- anxiety about your new baby and the new world of motherhood
- distractions, such as a crying or unsettled baby
- loss of libido for your partner. This is not uncommon and should not be taken personally - remember your partner is going through adjustments too. Talk to each other to ensure that these problems don't become drawn out
- fear of getting pregnant - conception can still occur while you're breastfeeding! Don't forget to talk to your health care practitioner about reliable contraceptive methods at your 6-week postnatal checkup.
When should we start having sex again?
There are no hard and fast rules about when desire will return or when to resume your sex life - it varies for different people. While the general opinion is that sex can resume as soon as you feel physically and emotionally ready, it's probably best to seek the advice of your doctor or obstetrician before you leave hospital.
Remember it's not just you that might not feel like making love! You need to talk to your partner about when each of you is ready to resume sex. It's also a good idea to address any other problems you may be experiencing together.
Resuming sex has its advantages. The hormones released during sex cause contractions that will help the uterus to return to it's normal state, and of course, returning to a physical relationship can be good to renew the physical and emotional closeness between you and your partner.
What about contraception?
After you have given birth, ovulation could occur at any time, even when you are breastfeeding. You and your partner will need to think about contraception and discuss the options with your doctor.
Contraceptive pills that contain oestrogen are not recommended for breastfeeding women as they reduce milk production. Progestogen-only pills are available but their long-term side effects on babies are unknown at this stage. Until your six-week check-up, the only other alternative is condoms, used with a contraceptive gel or cream. At your six-week check-up you can discuss the use of a diaphragm or IUD with your doctor.
Source: www.essentialbaby.com.au
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